We are a less than two weeks out from leaving Atlanta. I am stressed out. I don’t make friends easily and fear sinking onto a self induced depression from dwelling on what is the sometimes curse of the artistic personality: "I don’t fit in….I don’t belong…..I am different and everyone knows it"…. Although Craig regularly assures me that I am the most ‘normal’ person in my family, I fall naturally into the mode of standing on the outside looking in. I have stood there my entire life. It is like a groove in a record. The needle just falls right in.
Now, this way of feeling or understanding can be a good thing at times, but for me it is more often damaging. I have begun to ask myself what might happen if I looked at us all…..everyone….as ‘together’ instead of ‘them and me’. We are, after all, ultimately the same….seeking the same things (i.e. 10/5 entry..). What if I began to see myself as connected in some way with every other human being on our planet?….as fellow human beings….as brothers and sisters?…. This is a fearful proposition for me I assure you. Too many wounds…too many scars. But we are all wounded. I can try to start there, God help me….