Tuesday, August 02, 2005

birth pangs

Now that ‘Morpheus’ is completed, I think I have some idea now of what my next painting will be……I think. I am very fascinated with mythology, so I am going to continue on with ‘Phobetor’ who is second of the gods who created images in dreams. He took the form of animals in dreams. This is a bottomless pit of possibilities…..

The research and brainstorming process is such a huge part of how I work. Over the last several weeks while in the city, visiting friends or away visiting my family I am always thinking about this idea. I will mull and chew on an idea for weeks never even putting anything on paper until I am sure I am ready to procede. Very anti-art school. At ACA I remember we had to have several pages of sketches to accompany any piece of work we turned in for a grade. I don’t need no stinking sketches!…..

I have thrown out my old faithful drafting table of fifteen years and bought an easel. After much advice and research this my first attempt at using oil pastels on large canvas…….I am moving closer and closer to that huge white canvas on the easel every day. The first mark is always the hardest to make….. This is when the barrage of doubts and fears come knocking.
Can I do it? Will it be what I hoped? Will I be able to put on canvas what is in my mind?..Or will I find that I am a fake?……

I remind myself each new beginning of the words of my favorite art book ‘Art and Fear’:

"What separates artists from ex-artists is that those who challenge their fears continue; those who don’t, quit. Uncertainty is the essential , inevitable and all-pervasive companion to making art. And the tolerance for uncertainty is the prerequisite to succeeding."

Right on.

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