We lost our internet connection last Friday, so I currently sit in Panera with a weak cup of coffee catching up on emails. A tech is supposed to come out and make it right Tuesday.
I took the Keirsey temperament test this weekend. I take it about once a year when I feel like I need to have someone confirm that it is OK to be me. I go through periods of feeling like I am so, so unlike most of the folks around me (I realize this is common in artists.) Sometimes, I feel alright with that and sometimes I don't. At the moment, I feel I have been trying to squeeze myself into a way of being that goes against my natural grain. I have a very structured, focused mother who is logical and a fairly black and white thinker. My father, who I did not grow up with, is very much an artistic temperament untapped. All of these qualities are good, but I think being like them both by gene, yet being raised by my mom, I often feel I have to work hard for that right brain way of being. Had I been raised with them both, I probably would have a more balanced access to it all....like it is ok to BE an artist.
Even so, though I am an INFJ/P (J and P are always equal scores), I almost always come out fairly equally left and right brained on these tests...which if you think about it, may cause insanity in some folks. Hopefully, not in my case....although it can fee that way.
There is a side of me that kicks against structure, yet wants things to be structured, a part of me that hates schedules, yet feels the need to schedule......that sees things linearly, yet can see things from all angles....yep, so you see my dilemma.
My weak coffee is cold and I should pack up and go home to paint. Or maybe I can analyze this idea a little more.....