out in space

Stuck floating in some alternate universe….unable to focus….living inside. I see a little girl out my window. She in is in that still wobbly learning to walk stage. I want to go back there and start over. What is in my mind is safer, more interesting and it brings me the floods of feeling that I sometimes thrive on and survived on as a child. Does anyone else go there? I realize it is a hiding and an avoiding and a reliving of how I lived my life throughout my childhood. A magic to it that is wonderful, yet not very conducive to adult life….to difficult paintings. The finish line of the week bears down on me with little to show. Why am I so weird?